Part of me is worried about writing this article because this is a very sensitive subject, so I will start by pointing out where I stand on the issue. I think the crimes Harvey Weinstein has committed are horrendous and abhorrent and I hope that this is just the start of men who abuse their power being held accountable and, if required, imprisoned. On that note, 82 women have come forward concerning Weinstein, which leads me to question just how many woman need to accuse you of sexual assault before you are arrested?
In English law, if someone is made to feel like they about to be harmed, then it is assault. In all the accounts where Harvey has lured women up to his room and walked in naked - most women's immediate assumption would be that they might be about to get raped. I think putting people in a position where they genuinely fear they might be raped is as bad as doing so.
I have also found it a beautiful thing to watch women coming together to support one another and stand as one against their attackers. Furthermore, the "Me Too" campaign has been very successful in showing the world what a huge problem this is around the world in women's lives.
However, I fear that people have lost perspective. There has been uproar about Adam Sandler putting his hand on Claire Foy's knee. Note that it was her knee and not her thigh. What Harvey Weinstein did and what Adam Sandler did are not in any way shape or form, in the same category. To be completely clear = someone putting their hand on your knee is NOT THE SAME AS RAPE.
There are some things a man can do that although on the smaller scale, may make you feel uncomfortable and that feeling of discomfort may stay with you for years. But when it comes down to whether that person has done anything wrong, there are two things people need to really consider before they accuse someone.
Firstly, the context. It is clear that in certain situations, a man putting his hand on a woman's knee is wrong or at the very least questionable - a teacher to a pupil, a boss to a woman at work, a stranger on the train or in a bar, someone you've already told to stop touching your leg. In fact, if you make it clear you don't want someone to touch you and they continue to do so, that could be legally considered assault. So context is key. Someone in a position of power over you, or a stranger, is very different to a friend.
Secondly, the intention behind the act. Did the man intend to make you feel uncomfortable or did he genuinely intend to be nice? It is very simple question but a very important one.
Yes, some men lack any awareness that they are making women uncomfortable and that is why I think the "Me Too" campaign is amazing - showing men the wide variety of what is unacceptable.
But if we want to eradicate this problem, we need to gain perspective. How do we expect men to know what is acceptable or not if we make the line so blurry? There are thousands of issues that are clear-cut right or wrong. Grabbing a woman "by the pussy" = wrong. Being a friendly and nice person with nothing but genuine respect for women = right. When people know the clear line of what is okay and what is not, more can be done about the issue. So we need to focus on the wrong, rather than the grey area.
The Adam Sandler uproar is an example of this grey area because to me, that was 100% NOT sexual assault. Yet others believe it was. As a very tactile person myself, I have probably touched people on the knee a thousand times, never once intending to upset someone, but subconsciously intending it as a sign of friendship. I understand of course for some people that would make them feel uncomfortable - their personal space is being invaded after all. But discomfort at someone being perhaps a bit too familiar needs to be distinguished from having a man make you massage his naked body or indeed rape you (as Harvey did on countless occasions).
Harvey and people like him - they all deserve to be grouped together and labelled as bad, disgusting people. Adam Sandler however, is not a man who should not be considered in the same category as these 'men', for awkwardly putting a hand on a woman's knee - he had no ill-intentions, and his action did not make Claire Foy feel in any danger - in fact she released a statement stating so.
I feel like trying to include clearly harmless acts in the "Me Too" movement is only going to harm the movement. Women were coming forward and telling their stories of sexual assault and husbands, brothers, fathers, boyfriends, uncles, best friends were collectively horrified for the women in their lives and women on the whole. However, I feel this will cause it to be taken less seriously, for men to feel defensive. Men being part of this social change is vital and we all know great men, so we cannot let it get to the point where the innocent are tarred with the same brush as the guilty. There are enough truly bad people in this world who we need to focus on.
To summarise, we need to focus on catching the rapists, not the knee-touchers.
ADDITION: 31/10/17
I have just finished reading The Guardian's piece where they, and many of the comments beneath it, said that you cannot touch a woman at all, in any way, without asking for permission first.
Why do we now live in a world that has to go to such extremes? I would be devastated if my brother or a male friend felt he couldn't give me a hug without asking for permission to touch me first. Because that's the thing - this is not a call for sexual acts to require permission, because of course we all agree with the requirement for consent in that context. It is friendly acts they are targeting.
This is the equivalent of a mother campaigning for people to stop drink-driving because her son got killed and people then shouting "No one should ever drive!", "All drivers kill people!", "All drivers drink drive!". It turns an important and righteous cause in to something extreme and mockable.
How dare people do that to this cause. This is too serious for people to start jumping on absolutely nothing - to do so is to trivialise real sexual assault victim's experiences and trauma. It has shown that too many people have completely missed the point.